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"Anyway sweetheart, how are you this morning?" she asks me. "All set andraring to go?" Ready when you are," I reply, hoping for the sake of my last clean pairof jeans that I sound keener than I feel."That's what I like to hear. We'll make a good team, you and I. Okay, I'vebeen having a think. We should start off at the cemetery, then--" She must be going to apply for a job as a gravedigger."Yvette de Monnier's stage whisper has approximately the same effect as arabbi walking into a crowded synagogue on Yom Kippur clutching a pork piein one hand and a half-eaten bacon sandwich in the other. The two oldladies have ossified into statues, egg yolk dripping from their forks. MrsSourface's mouth has fallen open wide enough to catch a swarm of locusts,let alone the odd fly. The skeleton impales a mushroom that will neverreach his stomach.With geological slowness Kerrie turns her head."That's a nice dress," she remarks. "I might get myself something likethat when I'm your age."All over the. On my way home I was trying to work out were to get one when I came across an antique shop and in the window was a pendant with a beautiful red gemstone, so I went in.“Hello” I called, and no one answered “HELLO” still no reply shrugging I turned and nearly had a heart attack because of the little old man stood right behind me.“Hello” he said, “You like my stone yes?”I looked confused and he smiled producing the pendant“You like, yes?”“Yes” I replied “how much”“This is an incredibly special gem, for you. No charge”“what? Are you sure?”“Yes, you take, you enjoy it” he smiled “enjoy them”With that he slipped the gem into my hand and ushered me out the shop and I decided to take the win. So, I went home.I studied the gem closely that night and noticed a strange imperfection in the middle I also realised this was a real Ruby and worth a fortune I began too feel guilty so I decided to return it on my way into work the next morning.The following morning, I stood on the street slack jawed.
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